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When I was a kid, I really hated reading the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine. I hated flipping through the pages only to discover a story dead-end. The whole book feels like a labyrinth of bad endings and a massive ploy by the author to scare me at every turn. I hated it. Now it feels like RPGs are going that route: choose your own adventure, decide your protagonist’s personality – cheerful and kind or evil and mean? For someone who loves the traditional mode of storytelling, I feel ambivalent towards this trend.
For me, the freedom to choose disrupts the flow of the plot. I can’t get into the story as deeply as I can with a linear story. For example, I cried during the train scene in Shadow Hearts Covenant. It was so sad. But in Persona 4, other than the usual ‘aww, that’s sweet,’ I don’t feel anything deeper than that. I guess all the choices in the game cannot hide the fact that in the end, you won’t emphasize with the protagonist as well as you does in a traditional linear story line. He/she ends up as a puppet for our manipulation.
Plus, when I get to call the shots, I feel like there’s too much of me to enjoy other possible point of views. If I’m the one choosing the adventure, it does go the way I want it to go, but it also feels…boring and common. I’ve been hanging out with MYSELF for so many years, I just want to get away from ME when I read or play games. I don’t want to be ME slipping into the skin of someone else and bringing along my own essence. I want to be somebody else! It’s like, for lack of better example, if you get to play as Professor Snape, invariably, you will inject your own personality into his character no matter how hard you try to emulate him.
Some gamers like having choices because they can do the extreme thing and play as the meanest, baddest protagonist, someone they are not in real life. But for some odd reason, even when I do that, it feels forced and unnatural. For example, my husband is currently playing The Witcher and choosing to be mean and unpleasant in general. I don’t see the White Wolf as such a character! It just doesn’t fit. It’s like asking Alucard to be churlish and punk-like. Come on, the White Wolf is supposed to be aloof, reticent, but inherently noble! Doesn’t anyone else feel that way?